Most of us believe that breakups affect women the most, while its easy for men to get over it. But that’s not true, at least according to a study done by sociology scholars at the University College of London. The women among the 5,705 participants in the study – surveyed across 96 countries – reported higher levels of emotional investment and pain when a relationship came to an end than men did.

However, that same need to choose a good “mate” also makes women very “selective” about who they date, so they are good at enlisting the support of their friends to pull through and choose someone else. But men are more “competitive” in their approach, meaning the loss of a woman they see as a good catch could be deeply felt for months or even years.

For most men, a romantic partner is the only person they confide in and therefore are left grossly vulnerable when that is taken away. “Young men don’t tend to confide in each other and that can make them feel isolated. Their friendship groups are more competitive than nurturing,” says Melanie Bartley, Sociology Professor at University College London.

So the next time someone says breakups don’t affect men as much as they affect women, share this survey with them!